I know I’ve said it in my previous posts, but changing to a gluten free lifestyle is hard. Scratch that, its more than hard, its devastating. I can’t go out to eat with my manfriend without carefully selecting a restaurant before hand. I can’t go out with my girls for a beer, or have a beer at an Eagles or Phillies game. Going grocery shopping can suck the life out of me merely because I have no idea what to make with my limited choices. Before, when I was dorming at college, Cup of Noodles and Spaghetti-O’s made up the majority of  diet; now quick meals like that are almost impossible to come by. A handful of soups are gluten free (I’m eating Progresso’s Chicken and Corn Chowder while I type this) and Minute Rice has become my savior. My other staple in my diet, cereal, has also left me with limited choices. Thankfully, most Chex varieties are gluten free.

Please don’t take this as a pity party for myself, I’m being realistic. Any change is hard to deal with, big or small. I am incredibly lucky, and thankful, that I have the people around me that I do. My family has been beyond supportive in helping me change to a gluten free lifestyle. My dad makes much appreciated contributions to my grocery fund. My manfriend has embraced my gluten free lifestyle, and done everything from buying gluten free pasta so I can eat at his house, to suffering through gluten free meals while eating over my house. My friends have made sure that when we’re all hanging out to have gluten free options in food and drink for me. I have an overwhelming amount of support behind me, and for that I am truly blessed.

Still, support and all, sometimes the change gets to me. I find myself staring wistfully at fries on the manfriend’s plate wondering if just one is really going to make me sick. I dream about cupcakes, cookies, and bread. Actually, I have nightmares about breaking my diet. They all start out the same, I eat the most delicious ______ (pick a glutenous food) and then everything falls apart. I start failing school, I get uncontrollably sick, sharks start attacking me (I have a paralyzing fear of sharks); basically, everything that can go wrong in my dreamland does. I woke up crying from one of these nightmares this morning. Its things like this that makes the change harder to deal with.


Everyday is a challenge. Everyday that I don’t give into temptation and I keep gluten free, and keep getting healthy, is a victory. I’m sure a day will come where I don’t even think twice about keeping gluten free, but until then its going to be hard.

Because this has been a more serious post, here’s something to make you smile….


About ellenensminger

I am a recently diagnosed Celiac living in Glassboro, NJ. I am attending Rowan University for Law and Justice with a minor in Psychology.
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